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twilight

The evening light dims to the stars
We stand together, motionless, staring
out into the fading horizon afar
weaving dreams with our imagination.

Not a single word exchanged
Yet, our minds – they do converse
in languages unknown to scripts
but known only to the hearts in us.

The birds fly home, to their home
Their chitter-chatter filling the scene
We are still standing, resting – still
Only us – just you and me…

blank

its hard to come to terms with… i may not see him for the next one and a half years… i don’t know where he’ll be… where i’ll be… where he’ll be… where we’ll be… its tough – this love, it is tough… we refer to our situation as a test from God… in which we must excel… we must not falter… we must not give up on each other, on our love…
but dear God, why do you not see the tears in my eyes? the sleepless nights i’ve spent crying in regret… regret for the single decision that could have affected my life… why didn’t i trust him enough then? why didn’t i believe in our love then?
i think i must be punished… punished for not valuing him enough… i don’t know God… i don’t know if you consider my love worthy to make him mine one day…

unfair

he’d worked so hard for it… and it just didn’t get chosen for being in the wrong format… this is so so wrong… i feel like calling up that person and literally screaming to him to atleast look at the proposal…

love is in the air :)

my first valentine’s day when i have a valentine! ::blush:: dispatched his letter and card already… he’s hopefully dispatch mine today…

till now, all the valentines’ days that i’ve had have been ones waiting endlessly for a phone call or a wink from the person i used to ‘like’ at that time… it was so kiddish ( i now think )… i used to hope and hope, believing in that quintessential statement – someone out there loves you and you don’t even know it – or – don’t stop smiling; for all you know, someone is falling in love with your smile – and things like that… but last april, i knew it was all true… that there really exists someone for me… that there is someone i would leave everything and run to if the situation came… he is the one… and i know it… ::blush::

yes i’m in love… have been in love for 8 months now… and i don’t think that there’s any doubt in our love… i’m just so glad i’ve found him… sometimes, i’m even amazed at the minuscule probability that we met… its just too miraculous… we’re so thankful to the One up there who’s orchestrating all this…

if you’re reading this, and you’re in love, wish you a wonderful day on the 14th of feb… if you’re not in love, wait… just keep waiting without losing patience… your love will come to you…

for now, its only words… and words are all i have to take your heart away…

ic quiz 1

not done as well as i’d hoped… losing 4 marks till now… but this is of 10 pc weightage so hopefully i can cover up later..

JAM

11 30 pm, the beginning of the night
deb secy neha knocks loudly on my door
i’m not quite in a fright
except my first chem quiz’s score.

we get the fundae, ritika banging the table to often
she’s speaking like a professional, without giving me a chance to soften.

at length i break the ice
coming up with random words in a trice.
six of us initially and three passers-by join in
from what they see, its fun jammin’

stuttering and pausing, i’m jammed again and again
only to jam someone else and ramble on about Jill and Jane.

the art of jamming, i finally gather
is speaking rubbish and mindless chatter
confidence should ooze with every syllable you utter
you shall be jammed, in case you stutter.

interesting rounds like alphabet
with each sentence starting with the letter next.
also others like disconnect, called ‘disco’
connect any two sentences in the history of the game,
and you’re in a fiasco.
another involving no four letter words leaves you in a fix
counting the letters before every word you speak,
you’re almost an adding whiz.
there’s simple story building, to sharpen your skills
say your sentences with panache and the others you thrill.

jamming is fun, and though i fumble
i intend to carry on and not stumble
its with continued enthu in each art you show
that you actually as a person grow.

this thing has caught on so fast,
you’ll find us freshies jamming on the mess table
even at breakfast!

can’t wait to try it out with someone very dear
maybe i’ll have to wait till the coast is clear.

ps another round of jamming is one called rhyme
each sentence you speak has to rhyme with the previous line
as you can see, i’m still down with jamming fever
though i hope in the process, i become a bit more clever

chaos – literally

life sucks. was so enthu to go to chaos – iim ahmedabad’s fest. was even specially invited by the insti fa secy to come and even radhika was gonna come with me. only a plan of three days in exchange for which we would have to give our math quiz at some other time – basically a re test, that too approved of by the dean of the insti. was sure i would convince ma baba as well cuz chaos and techfest collide absolutely.
but then radhika called home at her place and her brother ( fourth year iitb ) told her not to go cuz being freshie girls, we’d not know where to go and stuff and lose our way generally. and cuz her bro’s telling us not to go, we must give credit to his words. so we’re not going
i’m so so disappointed. all excited and dumped in a time frame of half an hour. i was so so enthu to go and see the iim campus, hang out with all the seniors, have fun on the bus ride to ahmedabad… and best of all, miss ma quiz to give it later… i’m so so depressed…

update : iima’s fest chaos actually got cancelled because the tragic demise of one of their main people coordinating the event. it has been postponed indefinitely.
but i will go next year.

potential dengue scare

tonight is the night which decides whether i have dengue or not. have had fever for the past two nights. if i have it today, i will have to get a blood test done tomorrow. i hope and pray i don’t have dengue. its not even dengue time.

Tea

well, this thought keeps coming to my mind on and off… this time, when i went home in december, while visiting family friends, i would invariably be asked for tea… since i don’t drink it, i decline and then everyone laughs, jovially commenting that i’m still a kid… there is this unsaid tradition among bengali families that kids don’t drink tea…
i’ve sipped some my mom’s and cousin’s cup a million times but have never been able to appreciate the specialty in it… i enjoy coffee a lot LOT more…

maybe i should start drinking tea… most gossip and life stories are shared over a cup of tea… and i feel really really awkward about it… i’m the only not sipping along… and have kind of really lowered my diet… i don’t even get time to make coffee, and since we have a readymade tea in the morning…
i wonder if i should start drinking tea…

thank you

you love me true
and i don’t see
i’m this girl blind
and only you can help me see…

i bleed when you do
only i don’t see where it hurts
and when i do realise the pain
i see you double over in hurt.

i’m doing this too often
testing your patience time and again
i don’t know how you find
the strength to look at me again.

i’m ashamed why i keep repeating my mistakes
i don’t know how i even face you
how i look into your eyes with guilt in mine
how you look at me, your eyes swimming in tears…

i want to take you in my arms
but i fear you won’t accept me
i fear my arms will break before they touch your skin
that they’ll be burnt, singed in guilt and being selfish…

i want you back
i’ll do anything
our love will never die
this i promise this night…

unenthu

i don’t want to stand for mess secy anymore. i don’t even want to win. i’m so so sleepy and i’m very doubtful that i’ll even get one vote. i don’t care. i’m not this politics type person. i don’t dare to take risks. i do not like to take responsibility. i’m the biggest kind of loser that even walked this planet. i wonder what made me contest for mess secy. i’m in half a mind to give up right now – i’m so infinitely sleepy.
acads this week have taken a back seat. haven’t revised a single lecture. haven’t read up any notes.
the only good thing that happened this week is that my chem prof seems to like me a lot and i’m glad about that. i want to sleep! no more of talking to people and convincing them why i’ll be good because i know i won’t.