Sweet Symphony

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ennui — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:29:28 +0000

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twilight

ennui — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:15:51 +0000

The evening light dims to the stars
We stand together, motionless, staring
out into the fading horizon afar
weaving dreams with our imagination.

Not a single word exchanged
Yet, our minds – they do converse
in languages unknown to scripts
but known only to the hearts in us.

The birds fly home, to their home
Their chitter-chatter filling the scene
We are still standing, resting – still
Only us – just you and me…

blank

ennui — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:51:29 +0000

its hard to come to terms with… i may not see him for the next one and a half years… i don’t know where he’ll be… where i’ll be… where he’ll be… where we’ll be… its tough – this love, it is tough… we refer to our situation as a test from God… in which we must excel… we must not falter… we must not give up on each other, on our love…
but dear God, why do you not see the tears in my eyes? the sleepless nights i’ve spent crying in regret… regret for the single decision that could have affected my life… why didn’t i trust him enough then? why didn’t i believe in our love then?
i think i must be punished… punished for not valuing him enough… i don’t know God… i don’t know if you consider my love worthy to make him mine one day…

unfair

ennui — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:29:30 +0000

he’d worked so hard for it… and it just didn’t get chosen for being in the wrong format… this is so so wrong… i feel like calling up that person and literally screaming to him to atleast look at the proposal…

love is in the air :)

ennui — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:09:42 +0000

my first valentine’s day when i have a valentine! ::blush:: dispatched his letter and card already… he’s hopefully dispatch mine today…

till now, all the valentines’ days that i’ve had have been ones waiting endlessly for a phone call or a wink from the person i used to ‘like’ at that time… it was so kiddish ( i now think )… i used to hope and hope, believing in that quintessential statement – someone out there loves you and you don’t even know it – or – don’t stop smiling; for all you know, someone is falling in love with your smile – and things like that… but last april, i knew it was all true… that there really exists someone for me… that there is someone i would leave everything and run to if the situation came… he is the one… and i know it… ::blush::

yes i’m in love… have been in love for 8 months now… and i don’t think that there’s any doubt in our love… i’m just so glad i’ve found him… sometimes, i’m even amazed at the minuscule probability that we met… its just too miraculous… we’re so thankful to the One up there who’s orchestrating all this…

if you’re reading this, and you’re in love, wish you a wonderful day on the 14th of feb… if you’re not in love, wait… just keep waiting without losing patience… your love will come to you…

for now, its only words… and words are all i have to take your heart away…

ic quiz 1

ennui — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 05:32:53 +0000

not done as well as i’d hoped… losing 4 marks till now… but this is of 10 pc weightage so hopefully i can cover up later..

JAM

ennui — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:18:19 +0000

11 30 pm, the beginning of the night
deb secy neha knocks loudly on my door
i’m not quite in a fright
except my first chem quiz’s score.

we get the fundae, ritika banging the table to often
she’s speaking like a professional, without giving me a chance to soften.

at length i break the ice
coming up with random words in a trice.
six of us initially and three passers-by join in
from what they see, its fun jammin’

stuttering and pausing, i’m jammed again and again
only to jam someone else and ramble on about Jill and Jane.

the art of jamming, i finally gather
is speaking rubbish and mindless chatter
confidence should ooze with every syllable you utter
you shall be jammed, in case you stutter.

interesting rounds like alphabet
with each sentence starting with the letter next.
also others like disconnect, called ‘disco’
connect any two sentences in the history of the game,
and you’re in a fiasco.
another involving no four letter words leaves you in a fix
counting the letters before every word you speak,
you’re almost an adding whiz.
there’s simple story building, to sharpen your skills
say your sentences with panache and the others you thrill.

jamming is fun, and though i fumble
i intend to carry on and not stumble
its with continued enthu in each art you show
that you actually as a person grow.

this thing has caught on so fast,
you’ll find us freshies jamming on the mess table
even at breakfast!

can’t wait to try it out with someone very dear
maybe i’ll have to wait till the coast is clear.

ps another round of jamming is one called rhyme
each sentence you speak has to rhyme with the previous line
as you can see, i’m still down with jamming fever
though i hope in the process, i become a bit more clever

chaos – literally

ennui — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:49:16 +0000

life sucks. was so enthu to go to chaos – iim ahmedabad’s fest. was even specially invited by the insti fa secy to come and even radhika was gonna come with me. only a plan of three days in exchange for which we would have to give our math quiz at some other time – basically a re test, that too approved of by the dean of the insti. was sure i would convince ma baba as well cuz chaos and techfest collide absolutely.
but then radhika called home at her place and her brother ( fourth year iitb ) told her not to go cuz being freshie girls, we’d not know where to go and stuff and lose our way generally. and cuz her bro’s telling us not to go, we must give credit to his words. so we’re not going
i’m so so disappointed. all excited and dumped in a time frame of half an hour. i was so so enthu to go and see the iim campus, hang out with all the seniors, have fun on the bus ride to ahmedabad… and best of all, miss ma quiz to give it later… i’m so so depressed…

update : iima’s fest chaos actually got cancelled because the tragic demise of one of their main people coordinating the event. it has been postponed indefinitely.
but i will go next year.

potential dengue scare

ennui — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:47:38 +0000

tonight is the night which decides whether i have dengue or not. have had fever for the past two nights. if i have it today, i will have to get a blood test done tomorrow. i hope and pray i don’t have dengue. its not even dengue time.

Three Girls and a Lady: Part 1

Sunshine — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 04:16:17 +0000

Here I write about three girls: each of whom I had a crush upon, but the matter went nowhere at all. And about a lady who took my heart away.

Shubha. The name might sound un-Bengali-ish, but it isn’t. It all started around Durga Pujo 2004, when I noticed a pair of eyes was constantly following me around. Well, maybe it was a hypothetical person behind me who was the object of her attraction, but if that hypothetical person were to exist, he/she would’ve had to be invisible to me. But anyway. Back to the story. You see, at that time I was too dumb (with respect to females) to give all this a thought; I simply ignored the glances. It was only later, in February the following year, that I felt there was something I missed. I tried to gather information from my friends, but unfortunately, I landed up with the wrong piece of the puzzle.

You see, she always hangs around with this girl who looks similar to her, and somewhere down my narrative, my trusted friend got confused and gave me a wrong piece of info. He said the girl was Shalini. Very good at acads, and stuff. Which, obviously was very interesting to me, because I’d failed to impress with my 10+2 grades (only to later surpass all by clearing JEE), and a near 90%-er being attracted to me was something that brought a sea change in me. I’d been lethargic with my studies (I was preparing for JEE at that time, with a gap year), but suddenly, I was inspired. I studied hard, and cracked the exam. It was only later that I found out I had the wrong person. The one in contention wasn’t so smart at studies, and was doing BBA at a lowly institute.

But still, a part of the credit for me clearing JEE goes to the person I developed feelings for at that time. The thing is, it was all an aberration. Neither one of the girls deserves any credit in reality.

Back to the story again. Since we could only see each other at gatherings of the local Bengali community (we were complete strangers, by the way), the next time I saw her was during Durga Pujo 2005. This time I was in college, but the situation hadn’t changed at all. She kept glancing at me. But this time, I glanced back. You see, I hadn’t realized till this time that she was actually someone (and something) else. Deary me. This went on, and on the last night of the festival, we had a concert by Abhijeet, Bollywood’s playback singer (who’s kindof a fallen star these days). She was sitting in front of the stage, and I, as a volunteer, was standing beside the stage. Our eyes met every now and then. One after another, Abhijeet dished out love songs, and I lip-synched then looking in her direction. She kept looking my way time and again. Sigh. I now wonder why I did that.

I was amazed by the fact that such a pretty girl (was she really pretty?) had a thing (yeah, right) for me. After all, I was a fat guy who didn’t really look the part. (This was also a phase of my life when I had low self-confidence; something I’ve gotten over. I now agree I look pretty cute, and, as the flab disappears, attractive. Anyway, that’s for Juturna to decide.)

And as it would be, nothing happened afterwards. I never got the guts to go talk to her. And I guess that’s what made her give up (if she was interested in me in the first place, that is) on me. In 2006, when I finally had the guts to scrap her, she replied with “I don’t know you”. And that was it. Down with jaundice, I couldn’t attend Pujo that year, and the matter was consigned to the graveyard. That was my first tryst with the second kind.

Postscript: This year on Pujo, with me leading a drastically different personal life (thanks to lady Juturna), I went to Pujo and swapped roles. This time, relieved of all pressures, I looked at her. And looked carefully. I wonder how, at some point of time, I found the face pretty. It has a perpetual frown, which makes her look old. And she’d grown her hair long, which looked horrible. It’s funny, but she did respond to my glances. However, mine were basically inquisitive glances, while I don’t know what the return glances were about.

As if I even care what they’re about. I have something else to care about. And oh my, that something is quite a handful (blush).